Is there a key to a door that I have yet to find? A door that so many others slip through easily to return with tales of beauty and magic, and, as bards would enthrall with their stories, they show us glimpses of these fantastical worlds, brought to life through paints and inks within their amazing works.

So here is my Herculean trial, I love to draw, to create and be creative and yet the ideas that do eventually creep into my mind lack that inexplicable spark and more often than not end up cast aside. Only on the rare occasion when the fates have lent an elusive hand may all around me breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy my temporary content.

This is my quest, the constant search for something so elusive to me and yet some find so easy to discover, that my frustration is palpable. I am hunting for inspiration. Why does it seem to fall into the laps of others? They seem to exhale it as I do breathe; yet I try in vain to grasp it, and as their breath, it slips between my fingers.

My exploration has taken me to some beautiful places, wondrous pages of incredible books. I have studied the works of my beloved Arthur Rackham, Patrick Woodroffe, Edmund Dulac, Heath Robinson and the Pre-Raphaelites, I have invited the wee ones to help using Ted Andrew's "Enchantment of the Faerie Realm", and I have languished in worlds hidden from daily sight generously offered to me by Neil Gaiman and Susannah Clarke. But even the enchanting Jonathan Strange could not reveal to me how to guild my work with all this literary treasure.

I have collected visual trinkets and stored them away from harm, photos, films, magazine cuttings, leaves and feathers, hoping to somehow ingest their beauty but instead I believe I may just be their curator, there to take them out, dust them down and gaze at their magic, before locking them away again.

Finally, and most recently I slipped into the welcoming arms of technology and encountered realms of new and exciting artists, their work encrusted with the visual jewels I sought. Linda Ravenscroft, Jasmine Becket-Griffith, Brian Froud, Yoshitaka Amano, so, so many amazing people with their extraordinary talents I wanted to steal just a little for myself, so that my work might shine as brightly.

But I think I might be scared. Scared of making mistakes, scared that people will disregard what I do, scared that life's practicalities have dulled my imagination, scared that I am making excuses and that inspiration cannot be searched out or archived - that it runs naturally through the veins of the lucky ones, the chosen few.

Well, maybe I will just keep looking, you never know today may be the day...

By Zoe Smith

Wintersgate Fairy

Zoe is 35 years old and lives in the North East of England with her husband Gary, their two little fairies Marnie and Ella, and their two dogs.

She studied fashion before swapping to fine art at university, but nothing seemed to suit her subject matter; fairies, mermaids and elves.

She is loving the home that she has found in Enchanted Folk and Faezine!!

Zoe has been a member of Enchanted Folk since June 2009

members.enchantedfolk.com/zoe